Stop Calling me a Whore !

It has been a tumultuous time for women since ages immemorial. I need not point out the situations she has to put up with in order of her survival. From the time she is conceived in her mother’s womb to the day till she dies, she is put to test by all and sundry, by all her relations-family and foes.

Today I sit before my laptop, thinking blankly about what a woman faces throughout life and this time I’m trying hard to not talk about physical violence, rape and molestation. The misogynistic society has left no stone unturned to make sure her work an uphill task. Physical trauma cause scars which can be erased but mental and emotional mutilation has no cure. I’m more than sure of the fact that all of us have been sometime, somewhere by someone been emotionally or mentally hurt to the level that jeopardized our well-being.

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The society we live in is a sexist one ! Let’s face it. No matter how much we talk of Women Empowerment so clamorously, but deep down there every woman is unhappy. We have to face criticism,jealousy,malice,judgemental remarks from the male dominated arena around us.

There are plethora of examples where working in a Call Centre/BPO is not considered ‘good’ for girls. People raise an eyebrow and assume her as a Prostitute, not that I wish to offend the Prostitutes for that matter ! If she works late, she’s irresponsible, if she speaks out her mind, she is arrogant and if she is crazily successful she has definitely slept with someone to reach to the pinnacles of success. We live with this mentality and shackles of social stigmas. How often we come across a pretty girl who dresses up quite well and puts some more quantity of make up on to look good, people often call her bad names-someone with multiple affairs, how often we see a woman who has had several breakups in the past but people call her a non-virgin slut, unworthy of a new relationship. Isn’t it ridiculous to call a sexually active female a ‘whore’ or overrate ‘virginity’ and make it a big deal. Why a guy before marrying a girl prefers ‘checking’ her himself by setting up spies behind her and digging out old records of her school/college just to ascertain whether she had a ‘decent’ conduct or not ?silencing-women

I mean what’s the point if i had some creepy,good-for-nothing boyfriends in the past who broke my heart and made me stronger in life ? What’s wrong if I was daring enough and went with what my heart said and had the courage to sleep with someone ? Isn’t it my basic right to live my life on my terms and conditions ? Why it is so difficult for you all to come round to one point that if I drink or smoke I’m not a Whore ! I dance at pubs because I love hanging out with my friends, I stay out late at night because that’s part of my job, I smile and talk and pat you on you shoulders because it’s a normal gesture not because I want to sleep with you and I wear clothes that I want to because I can afford it ! You don’t like it take your eyes off me.

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It’s horrible to see girls being judged on grounds of clothes they wear, company they keep, job they do or habits they have acquired. People stare at us, pass lewd comments and letch us as if we are a mere commodity. It’s not ”us” who needs to change but everybody else out there who think Women are mere objects !

We don’t need to cover ourselves up but you all need to learn to lower your gaze. We don’t need to stay back home late at nights but you should have the courage and guts to stand up for anything wrong done to us. It’s not us who need to lower our voices,it’s you who need to learn to listen and understand. It’s not us who should sit back home, but you need to learn to face defeat, appreciate our success and take it as a healthy competition.

Power struggle

Just because we own a fragile body, doesn’t make us weaker in any case. Highly impressed by what recently a 3 times National Award winning Bollywood actress said

“I’m proud of my fragile body and soft hands and sharp mind.. I’ll use what is sharp and not what’s soft”

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Ignorance is a Curse

Indian society is a meshwork of traditions,rules and customs. Traditions are good as they give us a direction for living. Our ancestors designed them in such a way that we need not find ourselves in a dilemma over how to get certain things done. They were wise enough that we will land on crossroads and will not be able to take lead. I’m greatful for few things that define our rich cultural heritage. Our traditions of which we are so proud of.

But there are certain things which get ignored just in the name of Tradition. I must say some people are so hellbent over following traditions that they tend to surpass all limits of humanity and empathy.

This blog is inspired from a real life incident. Being a girl I’m deeply touched by girl issues. I have a neighbor whose niece  recently got married after much humdrum over her love affair. She got married at tender age of 22 after much hullabaloo in her family. Within a month after her marriage she conceived and after much complications delivered a baby boy. There’s more to the story,she kept on bleeding for 2 months and the doctors declared to remove her uterus-her womb !

Phew..all this at an age of 22 years ! Shockingly the parents have absolutely no role in guiding the poor girl. The guy who married her absolutely had no clue about contraceptive methods. In this era,in 21st century ! People are so dumb that they don’t know the difference between raising kids and raising herd of animals ! People find it so easy to love but is loving is enough ? Is taking care of your partner’s health and not risking it not a love bound duty ? I believe the issue arises as why people get married at such a young age ? I’m not talking about the arrange marriages. Love marriages happening at tender ages and girls getting pregnant soon enough unaware of the health risk factors associated with their sex life. What I have noticed pre marital sex is still a taboo,something unheard of in towns and small cities. Majority of couples crave marriage for their final “nuptial” affair. But then they are too young and mostly unaware of contraception, safe sex and complications of early pregnancy. In no time young lovers turn into parents and the ignorant cycle continues. They’re not aware of child health care even and that again compromises his health.

What I aim through this article, girls and boys please,if you love someone and are physically engaged please have the responsibility to practice healthy ways and don’t risk your lives into something that you’re not fit for at the moment. Parents who get their daughters married at an early age educate her well so that she knows when she has to say no. Educate your boys to use a condom !

When ignorance spreads so vast that it starts compromising human life someone has to shamelessly stand up. And I choose to be that shameless person.

Stay healthy !